HOW TO QUIT CAFFEINE

Of the most difficult things I've done in my life: getting into college, passing intro to Russian, holding plank position for 3 minutes (that was a one time thing), kicking my addiction to caffeine was definitely one of the hardest.

My chemical romance

Not to discount anyone else's hardcore addiction, but I'm telling you I was a straight junkie. It wasn't so much coffee I loved, it was the effect. It all started with Excedrin in high school. I used to pop a casual pill or two in the morning after I realized they made me feel way happier to be alive and attending AP English at 7:30AM. In college things went a bit south of the "legitimate" boarder, as amphetamine salts literally rained from the sky. A pill that made you more awake, more interested in...anything and less likely to eat? Oh what joy! I'm not proud of it, but hey, everyone was doing it... After college my access to prescription crack ran out but coffee had far too many calories so I found a nice little workaround with caffeine pills - same boost, zero cals.

Somewhere along the line a little voice in my head said popping 50mg of caffeine in its "pure" compressed powder form probably wasn't a good idea (even though the internet said it was okay) - and for once I actually listened.

Giving up the bad sh*t

It wasn't easy. And that crap about withdrawal only lasting a week? Is crap. I think it took me a full month to feel normal again - but since then it has kept getting better. I can tell you it's so, so worth the pain to make it to the other side.

The secret is Twig Tea 

Essentially, the only way to quit is to actually quit, but you don't have to go totally cold turkey. There's a magical thing called Twig Tea which will help you through. 

First you need to pick a time when your mental requirements are, a bit more lax, like a long weekend, as taxing mental processes, such as stringing together coherent thoughts, will be difficult. Then try and go at least two days with no caffeine. This will help re-sensitize your body to its effects. 

Then you can use twig tea in case of mental emergencies - unexpected deadlines, demands, being dragged out to be your friend's wing man. Since it does contain a tiny amount of caffeine it will give you the boost you need, but it won't get you hooked. 

The rest of the time stay as caffeine free as possible. I promise after a few weeks (maybe a month) you will feel like a new human - no longer needing chemicals to make it through your day without assaulting someone or falling asleep under your desk.


Do you know of anyone (ahem) who might need a little help in the area of de-stimulation? Share this post with them. 

Have you tried twig tea? Did it work? Any other tips and tricks do you have for getting clean? I'd love to hear! Please share them in the comments below!